What is your value?

I'm really struggling today. This situation with losing my job has altered my vision of me. I used to feel productive bring home the tofu bacon (a paycheck), fry it up in a pan (cooking great meals) and never letting him forgot he's a man (smooth running household where things are at your fingertips before you even realize you needed them). Bad analogy aside, it's true; defining my personal value was based solely on what I could do for others. The concept that other people might just appreciate me for me was foreign.

Me: You mean I don't have to do/bring/make something?

Collective voice of friends and family (CVFF): Yes.

Me: Well, then I guess others will only want me around if I'm in a good mood.

CVFF: No. Mood doesn't matter.

Me: Uh-huh.

My brain is a landmine of doubts. If you are able to safely detonate one doubt, there are still a million more out there.

Back to value . . . . When I was bringing home a paycheck, I was fine. Felt like a million bucks; lose the paycheck and I began to equate my value to the change I found in the dark recesses of my purse. I was relying on external factors to determine my worth.

News flash: If you want to avoid the up and down feelings of value or worthlessness, then stop looking outside! My internal bank (supposedly) has all the money/value I need. Neither my "to do" list, nor my baking makes up my value. All I need is within me. Now, if I could just remember my internal ATM code, I might realize that value.