Well, at least someone in our Hidden Harbor household is working! Unfortunately, the lack of opposable thumbs tends to slow her down, increase spelling mistakes and negate any earning potential she might have. However, she is certainly a joy to look at and love.
I'm not really feeling my own value right now. I don't have any freelance medical projects lined up and the lack of work (and income) tend to get me feeling a little blue. I understand that we all, as individuals, have significant value because we are made in the image of God. That the fact He took his time and skills in creating us gives us our worthiness and intrinsic value. I try to remember that. Honestly, I do. However, when I'm not working towards a 'goal,' (whether it be work project, cooking, just something task oriented) I have a tendency to feel lost, defunct of value.
I hate these days where I am incapable of looking in the mirror and thinking, 'I'm OK with me.' I understand that an overarching 'goal' in life is to lead each day trying to know God better. Trying to do right by his values and teachings. Some days, its just hard to translate that into . . . . well, life.
2 comments:
I've totally felt the way your feeling before. Being jobless/project-less has a way of messing with your self-worth, when it shouldn't. While I'm a patient person (most of the time), biding my time while I was job searching and staying home with Bella full time was challenging to my spirit. Not sure how I made it through with my sanity intact and my self-esteem unchanged, but I did. Just have hope. Hope in what good things lie ahead for you. They will come...in their own good time.
Thinking of you.
Being jobless myself and with few commitments outside the walls of our house, I, too, feel a loss of identity, especially in the dark, cold months when there are fewer ways to fill a day. Engaged in a full time career for 32 years and part time for an additional six, I never searched for a way to fill a winter day since each one ended before I could accomplish every entry on the "list." Not so now. I often find myself searching, lost in thought and whiling away the hours, eventually wondering what, of value, I accomplished.
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